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I am a good horrible person

I have heard people tell me that they would never even think of the ba things they hear of other people doing. They often say that [those people] must be evil for thinking of that.

You know what? I disagree. To be able to think of those horrible things, you need imagination, perhaps you need exposure to some degree of the macabre, some suffering of your own or those near you.

I know, because I have seen some stuff. Guess what, it has burrowed inside me and lives there. And when someone offends me, when someone hurts those I care about, the thoughts sin my mind can get pretty dark. Horribly dark. But I then, push those thoughts away…even if I could get away with it. Because.

I am a good person. A horrible good person.

Silence…

If you know me, you know I am vocal about things I believe are wrong. Especially if they affect me and those I care about. Unfortunately, (for me) I seem to care about more and more people as I learn how connected we all are in the world. I also recognize how important my/our voices have become.

Check your feeds and followings. check your list serves and the professional communications from your organizations, your industries, your leaders. The world is a big place and we cannot respond to everything, but when something happens in your community, to your community, who speaks? What do they say?

More importantly, who is silent? Over the break or during the semester when women, men, members of the LGBTQ community, people of any religion, people from any country or culture are targeted by hate, is there a response?

Are they waiting for a response from someone higher up that they can model their behaviour after? Do undergraduates wait to see how upperclassmen respond? are the grad students waiting for the tenured faculty? Is your department chair waiting for the president of the University? Is the university president waiting for the Governor? Is the Governor waiting for the President of the country?

And you? who are you waiting on?

Tell someone, tell everyone.

I denounce racial supremacists. I denounce international hate. I denounce gender, race and ethnicity based violence and bigotry.

Now, at least I know you will not be waiting on me.

Leno

-This is in partial response to the Charlotteville, VA white supremacy gathering (August 11 2017) and violence that followed (August 12, 2017).

 

Featured post

Luck, dreams and marriage

If you get really, really lucky, you will meet the person of your dreams. Being made of dreams, they will give you a new one.
The dream of being with them forever.
For many of us that look like marriage.
But like all dreams, when you catch them and try to hold on, they change. They become firm, real, hard in places and soft in others.
No one is perfect and no marriage is easy all the time.
Alma, I love being married to you and learning, growing no changing through life’s challenges together. Te amo.

Everyone else that reads this, I wish you the strength to hold on to the dreams you catch. Leno

Ancilleno Davis, PhD. Candidate
Ecology, Evolution and Environmental Biology- Miami University, Oxford Ohio

Harm

It seems like Anu Garg at “A Word a Day” reads my mind and then finds the words of dead people to echo the sentiment. 

“a long time we have gone along with some well-tested principles of conduct: that it was better to tell the truth than falsehoods; that a half-truth was no truth at all; that duties were older than and as fundamental as rights; that, as Justice Holmes put it, the mode by which the inevitable came to pass was effort; that to perpetuate a harm was always wrong, no matter how many joined in it, but to perpetuate it on a weaker person was particularly detestable … Our institutions are founded on the assumption that most people will follow these principles most of the time because they want to, and the institutions work pretty well when this assumption is true.” -Dean Acheson, statesman and lawyer (1893-1971) 

at the oxymoron museum

I would visit that museum.

Source: at the oxymoron museum

“It’s a F*$<ing African American!"

*Note: if you follow me, you know I avoid profanity. This post does contain a few instances, because they are direct quotes and pertinent to the discussion. Read on accordingly.

Sitting in an office at Peabody Hall on Miami University’s Oxford Campus, I hear the drone of a motorized scaffold (the lift machines that painters can drive around and move up and down to paint the outside of a building).

Most of the morning, I hear the machine and the blasting music from the radio the worker has going. They are painting the wooden frames around and within the windows.

Later on I hear a string of cuss words as the painter working on my part of the building gets upset at something and I go to the window to see what is going on. He is throwing his equipment around and cleaning his hands furiously.

I walk away from the window but realize my window is next and go over to close my blind as his platform comes up. first he seems a bit surprised, then smiles and shouts of the noise.

"You want a ride?"
I look at him, puzzled, bemused. I can hear him clearly, but he takes my lack of response to mean I cannot hear him well because of the noise which must be near deafening outside.

"You (gesturing at me) want a ride? (gesturing at the machine and up toward the roof)"

gesturing to myself and shaking my head, I mouth "Me? no!" I smile with a hand over hand gesture also mouthing "next time".

I close the blinds and return to my seat.

From the window, I hear the audible but unintelligible shout of a coworker to the guy outside my window. (Like Charlie Brown’s teacher on a construction site).

The guy outside my window responds "It’s a fucking African American!"

*Charlie Brown’s Teacher responds*

"Yeah. A Fucking African American! I asked him if he wants a ride!" and he starts laughing.

I cannot really describe what was going on in my head at the time, but there was so much "what?!"

I am posting this to see what your reaction or response would have been. please leave a comment. follow the link to comment on the website preferred.

Thanks.

Ancilleno DavisFounder-BEINGS
(Bahamians Educated In Natural and Geospatial Sciences)
Director at Large – BirdsCaribbean
(formerly The Society for the Conservation and Study of Caribbean Birds)
www.birdscaribbean.org
Doctoral student- Miami University, Oxford, Ohio

Rats, pigs, dogs, boys

I find myself in conflict with my growling belly and my gnashing teeth.I cannot separate the eyes and the soul.
I have looked into the face of too many animals.
I have looked with earnest.

some have died on my spear or needle,
some crushed in my hands,
my soul is stained.
I think of them whenever I eat meat.

I choose myself
I choose my selfishness.
to devour

I am the hunter

(in part for Fred C Schaffner)

When it comes to having a central nervous system, and the ability to feel pain, hunger, and thirst, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. -Ingrid Newkirk, animal rights activist (b. 11 Jul 1949)

Ancilleno DavisFounder-BEINGS
(Bahamians Educated In Natural and Geospatial Sciences)
Director at Large – BirdsCaribbean
(formerly The Society for the Conservation and Study of Caribbean Birds)
www.birdscaribbean.org
Doctoral student- Miami University, Oxford, Ohio

Worldview

Some people seem to have a 200 year old oil painting restored over the generations, which they continue to use as their worldview. My worldview involves getting outside and looking around.

Ancilleno Davis, PhD. Candidate
Ecology, Evolution and Environmental Biology- Miami University, Oxford Ohio

Empathy and poetry

Without empathy, there is no poetry.
The writer cannot reach out.
The reader is not touched.

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