Search

ancillenodavis

Here and there through these eyes

Category

Life

Thank you Mommy!

We all have a mother. fact. Everyday I meet people who I know have a mother. But each of these people are different. Each and every one of us.

I have a Mommy! I would never trade my Mommy for anything/anyone else in the world. Everything I am and do now I owe to mommy.

As a child going to St. Francis and Joseph Primary school, I still remember the days we would walk around the corner to the Royal Botanical Gardens to visit mommy at work. we had the entire gardens to play in and roam around in, to develop my love of nature and learn about the plants and their local uses and get dirty. I never lost this. Thank you Mommy!

I remember early mornings in our neighborhood walking around with a basket and a pair of scissors, when mommy would give me a list of plants she would be teaching her Bahamahost students about. I would go to the neighbors and ask if I could have a clipping of their plant and sometimes tell them a little about the plant that I learned from my Mommy. As I was learning the plants, I was learning to only take as much as was needed, how to speak to my neighbors and how to take joy in a simple job. Thank you Mommy!

Later on, I got my first part time job at the chicken farm through Mommy’s connections. I saw the chickens as they were incubated, housed and fed, killed, cleaned and packaged. The baby chicks would try to escape the crates and some of them would be crushed and killed. The adults in the big houses would eat centipedes, worms, maggots and other chickens that had been caught in the conveyor belt that carried their food. There was the first time I saw someone have a seizure. I saw the workers eating Kentucky Fried Chicken outside the slaughter house. I did not eat Kentucky for awhile after that, though eventually I did. Still, I think of the value of life when I eat any meat. It makes me more respectful of life and I will always carry that with me. Thank you Mommy!

I remember that we would use no kill traps to remove the rats from our house. I was still in primary school, but mommy explained to me that they carry diseases that we did not want in the house and it was to protect us, but to dispatch them she would drop the entire cage in a bucket of water. The rats would drown. Conflicted as children would be about the death of an animal, I would come after she left and lift the container out of the water. She explained to me that that made the rats suffer longer, though they had to die, they should not suffer and no animal should suffer. This compassion for vermin tempered with the need for their eradication gave me a balanced view which continues to take a prominent place in my outlook on animal welfare and kindness, even in killing. Thank you Mommy!

One of the greatest gifts my Mommy has given to me though, is the huge family of people she has brought into my life, directly and indirectly. Mommy’s ripples of kindness continue to impact me in strange and diverse ways through the people she has helped, because that is her way. Filling out an activity in 9th grade I realized that I had more Grandmothers than anyone else, Ma Rena in Andros, Grumma in the Grove, Ma Dora in Inagua, Gramma in Seabreeze (via Lawrence and Cheska them). I found out later that I gained all these “extra” aunts, cousins, grandmothers, sisters because my mom helped someone in the past and they became sisters. I still go home and people will tell me “You is Ms. Davis son, ey? *You killin’ ya ma boy.” It always makes me smile. I “**born fa luck” I know I look like Mommy and the luck comes from having such a great Mommy, that my face is like a passport to loving-kindness and respect wherever I go, because Mommy paved the way. Thank you Mommy!

As I am writing this I am thinking of our son #LeonardoDavis, whom we would not have if I had never met Alma. Whom I never would have met had I not gone to UMES. Where I never would have gone had I not gone to Abaco for the Abaco Parrot Project. Where I never would have gone had I not completed the Kirtland’s Warbler Research and Training Program. Which I never would have been recruited to had I never asked  Eric Carey to get some fish from the Botanical Gardens pond. Whom I never would have met had it not been for Mommy. and throughout, she has bailed me out financially, emotionally, spiritually and with her supremely balanced way of looking at things. Thank you Mommy!

Today (October 26th) is my Mommy’s birthday. Also our wedding anniversary, the date chosen by chance by Alma’s father, who happened to be born the same year. Alma’s birthday is May 27th, the same as my maternal biological grandmother. So how’s that for being born for luck.

So today, I just want to say Thank you Mommy! and in celebration of my Mommy, if you know her, please call, email, text or Facebook her to tell her “Thank you Mommy.” and if you have ever said thank you for something I did, please tell her “Thank you Mommy.” And then, after that, go tell your Mommy and all the Mommy’s in your life, Thank you Mommy.

*You killing ya ma. Is a Bahamian expression that means you look a lot like your mother.
** born for luck refers to a male child that looks like their mother. It is said that these children will have good luck throughout their lives.

How to visit the baby

So, you got this link. Maybe someone actually feels ready to have guests over after the craziness of having a baby. 

10: It’s not all about you.

If you haven’t been invited yet, your thank you notes have not been sent, you did not get a phone call…etc. um…yeah. The new parents are crazy busy. Things fall through the cracks. The last thing they need is a call or email about how offended you are. So don’t. What you can do is call and say “Hey, I know you guys are gonna be crazy busy with your new bundle of joy. Do you need someone to walk your dogs?” *Shout out to Cassandra Colton for offering and taking such good care of Sokka and Neji!* if you want to be a part of this special occasion, focus on the things you can do to support their mental health and well being.

9: OK. Some of it is about you.

Health and hygiene mostly, but manners especially. It’s a new baby, learning how to be a human…hopefully a quality human, healthy, happy, respectful and kind. So about you, that extra spray of cologne or perfume, or a couple beers on your breath… The baby doesn’t need it, but yes, please brush those teeth and take a bath maybe. Baby’s immune system is still on training wheels, so let’s wash those hands too. And guess what, babies start assimilating the sounds that make up language almost right away, so personally, I would avoid the profanity and the yelling. Who you are is up to you. But who we let be around our baby and hold him, is up to us. #imjustsaying

8: Is there a doctor in the house?

Now along with things you can do for us, come offering your professional recommendations. Everyone has them. You may have been one of the people encouraging us to have a baby for the 8 years we were married (none of your business by the way). Perhaps you are a botanist and you can say “Hey, that plant is toxic, make sure the baby does not put that in his mouth later.” But, chances are, we have already long chosen our pediatrician, obstetrician, doula etc. and we have read a million pages of the most up to date baby related science as well as the doom and gloom. So, unless you are a practicing physician in a child birth, or pediatric field,that has seen our medical history, please do not recant to us what you read on Facebook about things that can hurt babies. No, not even if your sister’s aunt’s brother’s friend’s bartender on your mommy side has a stepson it happened to. Just don’t. Personally, just getting a baby to term is crazy stressful, so if the baby is almost here and we are planning on birth or the stork has landed and we have our package in hand, your scary stories don’t help. Moms that have had babies get a special pass to say affirmative things, like oh, that will get better or you will love [enter weird pregnancy thing]. Men…shhhhhhhh.

7: Our superstitions versus yours.

Now I humbly accept that families have traditions. We all do. Some of those are superstitions and thank you for sharing. I find them interesting. But do not push. We probably will not be buying a chihuahua to sleep with the baby to prevent asthma or putting an open pair of scissors under his pillow or feeding him a spoon full of Vicks vapor rub… Yeah these are real things. 

6: The other kids…

Yours, ours, other people’s. Please, know that we want our kid(s) to be awesome, and yeah, that means the best they can be. Not judging your kids, but maybe. If your kid is a bit much for you to handle, spits, bites, is generally destructive or violent, maybe we should wait until our kid is older, or we can all agree to have them in the same room. And about our kids, this includes dogs… If we are inviting you over to meet our new baby, you probably met our kids already. Be honest with yourself. If you can’t handle them, tell us. For me, I do not mind you asking my dogs to go sit somewhere else, ask us how you should treat them and our discipline boundaries. I think I may feel the same with our son, but this may change. Basically, don’t put us in a situation where we have to mind your kids as well as ours.

5: Are you hungry?

We probably are. And the new mom probably has not had any fast food or take out for about nine months. Bring food or offer to bring food, maybe come over and cook.

4: Timing: Early, Late, and time to go.

3: House rules.

2: Parents rule.

1: Baby is number 1

If you have ever heard me speak of my time on the Kirtland’s Warbler Research and Training Program, you would know how much it meant for me as a scientist and how it has changed my life. Long story short, if it wasn’t for the Kirtland’s Warbler Research and Training Program, Alma and I would not have had #LeonardoDavis. So this past week in Ohio for Saving Birds Thru Habitat’s trip to Magee marsh with Ronald Brown Academy students, Dave Ewert and I reconnected. Leonardo seemed pretty impressed as well. Dave still continues to do lots of different things, but for myself and the students that went through the program, I think it’s safe to say he will always hold a special place for us.

Great to see you Dave!

 

Dave Ewert meets Leo
Dave Ewert meets Leonardo

Leadership

Leaders are special people.
During a recent interview I was asked what I thought made someone a good leader and to think of the best boss I have had and what made that person a great boss.

The first to come to mind was Eleanor Garraway-Phillips, of course. In my short time (4 years?) at The Nature Conservancy, I got to see her take the tough stance on several issues and stand up for her employees in the face of government and political will. Not only is Eleanor well able to keep her cool under pressure, but she is one of the most sincerely passionate earth warriors I know. Most importantly, she would get to know her employees and support our personal as well as career goals. Throughout my time with TNC she also helped to encourage me to see balance and take time with family when I could. Though I feel she was sad to see me go, “E” was especially supportive of my decision to return to school for my PhD. Thank you E.

Earth Day planting at the Hub Art Gallery on New Providence 2011
Earth Day planting at the Hub Art Gallery on New Providence 2011

Now I am at Miami University and while the University has its issues with diversity, there are pockets where anyone can feel included, like the Center for American and World Cultures. Here, I get to work with Dr. Mary Jane Berman and Jacqueline Rioja Velarde, two amazing women with an unbelievable amount of energy. The center does an incredible amount of work, but these two ladies are especially great at recognizing the work of everyone involved. From undergraduate and graduate student workers to community members who publicize their events, they always give credit where credit is due. I think this is especially important.
Thank you Jacque and Mary Jane!
Mary Jane and Jacque

You ladies are all super awesome and one day I hope to be able to follow your example!

 

Think about ants. They cannot see the soaring birds, why would they need to? Their lives consist of the path in front of them, following the scent trail of their fellow ants. Yes, occasionally one of them will get distracted and venture off on a solo adventure. Mostly though, their perception limits their world.

Look around you. Think about the people who go through their lives following the paths of their parents, older brothers and sisters, this graduating class just like last year’s graduating class. Think about the people who are trapped in the same organization or the same job for years and decades. Think about the way they told you there was no success outside of their realm of perception. Think about the ants and soar.

Happy Mother’s Day Alma

Speaking to the youths

I hit snooze

To some this may seem mundane, a common everyday thing, but not for me. Each day my alarm goes off I pop out of bed and get to it. Pray, wash the dishes in the sink, walk the dogs, get dressed, go to work and school etc. 

Yesterday was different, because over the past week, the bills have been piling up, the funding has been drying up and the stress has been piling up. So I hit snooze. I did not want to get out of bed or face the day. But lying there, I heard the voices of my mom and my grandmother telling me things always work out as long as you keep doing what is right. I went to work, and I did my job. I did the slow smile a few times. I came home and walked the dogs. We all needed that. I talked to Alma. I needed that.

That evening, I went to an art reception in Hiestand Hall, where I met Joe’s mom. We talked about Joe’s choice to be an artist when he found he was unhappy pursuing a degree in physical therapy. We talked about that time being unhappy brining him to this place and this time, meeting all the amazing people in the art department he now works with. I realized I was preaching to myself at the same time.

Later I went to the meeting of MU SPEAK. A spoken word and poetry club on campus I sometimes wander into. I reconnected with some folks I have shared some great conversations with over the past year and met some new artists. This also encouraged me to finally create a page for my poetry on this website.

Finally, one of these poets in particular, whom I regularly interact with on discourse about God and who/what he is, invited me to dinner. I stopped and thought about it. I hit snooze, and Kellen patiently waited. I knew there was a lot I needed to do and I made the lists in my mind and checked things off and counted the days until this or that could happen. 

And I realized, everything put us in this place, at this time, ready for dinner. We had a great meal and a great conversation and we wrote a poem for a fellow poet (Sara) who had a physics exam after the meeting. I went home feeling somewhat refreshed. It was good, but sometimes…I need to hit snooze.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑