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ancillenodavis

Here and there through these eyes

Month

February 2016

What’s the worse that can happen?

Life is an adventure, and my typical response is to say “sure, why not?”Normally, What is the worse that can happen?
so you try a new food and don’t like it, perform on stage and get booed off, it’s not the end of the world.

So the story goes… In Rio Bravo, Coahuila, Mexico they have a cabalgata.
Basically everyone and their horses come out to ride between towns.
My cousins in law have several horses and several of us decided to ride in the Cabalgata. The horse I got was my mother-in-law’s horse, but she fell off earlier, so I decided to take her place.
A few beers into the ride, my horse was attacked by another horse, I mean biting and kicking while I was on it. We got the horses separated the first time and I had my horse under control we went over to the soft shoulder of the road and I was calming him down. But the attacking horse came back and my horse started bucking. I locked my legs and huddled to keep from being thrown off the horse. The horse threw its head back. My head is hard, but I lost out. I blanked for a second then tried to get off the horse, fell to the ground and opened my eyes to see the horse above me. It stepped on my ankle, but I think the boots saved me. I rolled out, literally. Rambo style. (edit: my brother in law says I dismounted properly, then the horse bumped me and I fell. So naturally, I checked to make sure my camera was ok and picked up my new cowboy hat that Uncle Hugin had given me earlier.
The only thing left to do was get back on the horse and finish riding until we found Alma and he uncle to take me to the hospital. First Aid training told me to lean forward and let the blood out, which I did. I blew some of it into my sweatshirt which is also red (great adventure fashion choice). I also told Mario several questions to ask me like counting to twenty, saying the alphabet, phone numbers and spelling my name or some such stuff every twenty minutes. He did a great job.
Riding into the last town before the end of the Cabalgata, I realized that I did not look for my glasses. They were a few miles back (20 minutes as the horses ride) but I could see the changes on the little mexican children’s faces as I squinted at them through my swollen face, which Alma later told me looked like a ninja turtle. Alma’s face was not much better, but she hid it and she was kind enough to take the photo of me for posterity.
The Mexican emergency room was excellent. Friendly doctors and good morphine. I spent the next few weeks a bit grumpy and blind, but in the end it all worked out. just another scar and another story.

So when they invite you to the cabalgata, say yes. what’s the worse that could happen?

On Marriage for Miggety and Rashad,

I know you will get all kinds of input on your marriage over the years, but I wanted to give you my few cents. Hopefully these words will keep you strong, faithful and respectful of one another and focused on what is important.

Starting from the outside, think of all the people you invited to your wedding and who you wanted to be there. Think of how many of them are priests, professional marriage counselors, or have been faithfully married longer than you have been alive. These are the people you can go to for advice. They may be qualified, experienced and able to actually help. There probably aren’t that many of them. And most likely, they will first ask if you talked to one another.

The rest, still have opinions. Single friends and family, the married ones who act single will all have thoughts and opinions. Beware especially of the cousin that tells you “all Bahamian men/women are no good” or the friends that tell you that “you can do better”. Chances are they are unhappy and cannot see the beauty in your relationship. Don’t share everything with everyone, good or bad. And recognize, that they do not know all the times he washed the clothes, or she rubbed your feet or either of you bought chocolate or flowers.

Also outside are all your past relationships. They all left you or you left them for a reason. The person you are with now, is in some ways the sum of all that experience, but at the same time, none of it. Do not compare them to your past and do not compare yourself to theirs.

Next, look to one another. See one another. You got married for a reason. It was probably not to have someone wash the dishes or build a house. Maybe she makes you laugh at the strangest things, maybe he always helps you to get centered. One day, you will be broke or unemployed or sick or injured. One day the dishes will be piled in the sink and your spouse will be asleep after a long day of work. One day you will have to move for a better opportunity or find yourself in the same place longer than expected. What matters is that you are with the person you committed your life to. And remember people don’t change, but they adapt. So, if he never freaks out, sometimes, he may seem cold depending on the situation. If she always freaks out, sometimes, she may seem to be overreacting. But you knew how it was already. Take it in stride, talk to one another, be honest.

Finally, look to yourself. Every day is a choice. You choose to go home at night and wake up together. You choose to welcome one another home with a smile. You choose to help one another achieve their goals. Find out how you measure love and be honest with yourself. Make it your job to find out how to love them the way they need. Just always choose love.

I love you guys. Enjoy one another.

Unca Leno.

Sunny days sweeping the clouds away

Today I am scheduled to meet icons from my childhood. Sonia Manzano (Maria) and Carrol Spinney (Oscar the grouch and Big Bird).
For most of my childhood, Sesame Street was a constant. Get home on time and you could see Barkley following the kids as they disappear behind the tree. Sesame Street told us to share, cooperate, sing with one another, accept people for who they were, solve problems and all sorts of math and words.
As a new dad, I look at the quality of today’s children’s programming and it seems there is no s something missing. All the bright colors are there, there is music, but there seems to be something missing. I have lots of questions for Maria and Oscar and Big Bird. If you have any, you can comment on this blog post or my Facebook Page.
For now, I will be slogging through the snow but remembering being “on my way to where the air is sweet”.

Sincerely,
Ancilleno Davis, M.Sc.

Is this working out?

We all make promises to ourselves to be better, healthier, stronger etc. It’s difficult to say the least. Today I did some sit-ups with Leonardo. I lay him on my lap and sat up until I kissed him on the cheek. Between low stamina and general disinterest in exercise, I made it to 15 while counting. Though, in my defense I was doing it for about 5 minutes before counting just for fun. I also do curls using him as a barbell. Sometimes, he seems to like it. Sometimes, he seems confused. Sometimes, it puts him to sleep.
We really want him to be more fit than we are, so perhaps now is the time to help him appreciate the active lifestyle.

Sincerely,
Ancilleno Davis, M.Sc.

The parenting instinct

As you prepare for a baby, you gather all your worries. First and foremost, will the baby be healthy and will it have a better chance at happiness than we did? Then, you think about the finances, schooling, saving, etc.

But now the baby is here and everything is at eye level. He doesn’t need college tuition now, he needs wipes. He doesn’t need to know math the regular math or the new math. He just needs to make about 5 wet and 3 poopy diapers a day and hopefully sleep more than 3 hours 2 times a night.

So a part of your brain can relax with the forward planning because you are hyper focused on changing the diaper and keeping the circumcision and belly button clean. It works out. People and animals have been taking care of their offspring for millennia. The crying…we are hard wired to at least try to get it to stop. So far it means, nursing or cleaning is needed. Easy peasy. And while disposable diapers did not evolve with our butts, our instinct helps us get that baby clean.
The challenge comes when we push the limits of nature…like today. Near the Miami University conservatory at Hamilton, a greenhouse to grow plants out of their natural environment, we decided to change Leo in the car.
Midway through the diaper change his bladder emptying instinct kicked in and I reacted. I think partLy, I was protecting Alma’s face, partly my own, definitely Leo. I imagine this used to be an instinct to evacuate waste to prevent a predator eating the baby. Anyway…I used my hand. Bruno Mars would put his hand on a blade for you…but I wonder if his hand would intercept a stream of baby pee. And it went on for awhile. My instinct to protect our family put my hand in the stream. And I held it there despite the screams in my mind of confusion at what I had done. But I laughed most of the way home. This is the parenting instinct. I think I am officially daddy Leno.

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